Comments on: Complaining in Order to Connect with Others http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/07/complaining-in-order-to-connect-to-others/ Want to be Livin' the Dream? First, you need to start Dreamin' the Life! Wed, 09 Mar 2011 09:00:01 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 By: Anil http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/07/complaining-in-order-to-connect-to-others/comment-page-1/#comment-145 Anil Mon, 20 Jul 2009 21:48:13 +0000 http://dreaminthelife.com/?p=116#comment-145 Complaining is an integral part of Mediterranean culture. If you respond 'fine' to 'how are you doing', they'll ask you what's wrong! Complaining is an integral part of Mediterranean culture. If you respond ‘fine’ to ‘how are you doing’, they’ll ask you what’s wrong!

]]> By: Karen http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/07/complaining-in-order-to-connect-to-others/comment-page-1/#comment-139 Karen Sat, 18 Jul 2009 20:24:38 +0000 http://dreaminthelife.com/?p=116#comment-139 Ahhh, wise, wise, Sean. :) I like the idea of getting someone on your side and then switching to a positive solution, instead of just useless complaining. I haven't seen Waking Life... I think you recommended it to me awhile back. I need to rent it! Ahhh, wise, wise, Sean. :) I like the idea of getting someone on your side and then switching to a positive solution, instead of just useless complaining. I haven’t seen Waking Life… I think you recommended it to me awhile back. I need to rent it!

]]> By: Sean http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/07/complaining-in-order-to-connect-to-others/comment-page-1/#comment-128 Sean Fri, 17 Jul 2009 13:07:06 +0000 http://dreaminthelife.com/?p=116#comment-128 Your article's flow went the same way that I sometimes handle a complainer.... I do "the switch". Sometimes you can relate to someone through their negativity then slowly change their minds for them through a brief conversation that eventually leads them to understand that complaining and negativity are a little ridiculous most of the time. Although its useless complaining and negativity that are really hindering. Once the problem has been fully realized into words, the next step should be trying to find a solution. When a person starts focusing on a solution, there is no reason to complain anymore... ahhh... progress. Have you seen Waking Life? Your article’s flow went the same way that I sometimes handle a complainer…. I do “the switch”. Sometimes you can relate to someone through their negativity then slowly change their minds for them through a brief conversation that eventually leads them to understand that complaining and negativity are a little ridiculous most of the time. Although its useless complaining and negativity that are really hindering. Once the problem has been fully realized into words, the next step should be trying to find a solution. When a person starts focusing on a solution, there is no reason to complain anymore… ahhh… progress. Have you seen Waking Life?

]]> By: Jen http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/07/complaining-in-order-to-connect-to-others/comment-page-1/#comment-115 Jen Thu, 16 Jul 2009 06:44:29 +0000 http://dreaminthelife.com/?p=116#comment-115 Hey Karen! I loved this article. You're right it can be effortless to connect with others with negativity it just seems the easy way sometimes doesn't it ? I like changing the subject as a way to steer conversations...sometimes a gentle nudge does the trick doesn't it! ;-) it's that balance I guess, sometimes I think we all need to say 'negative' things but I guess it's when we don't do something about whatever it is or hold on to it that it turns into complaining. Cheers Karen! :-) Jen x Hey Karen!
I loved this article. You’re right it can be effortless to connect with others with negativity it just seems the easy way sometimes doesn’t it ? I like changing the subject as a way to steer conversations…sometimes a gentle nudge does the trick doesn’t it! ;-) it’s that balance I guess, sometimes I think we all need to say ‘negative’ things but I guess it’s when we don’t do something about whatever it is or hold on to it that it turns into complaining.
Cheers Karen! :-)
Jen x

]]> By: Josh http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/07/complaining-in-order-to-connect-to-others/comment-page-1/#comment-114 Josh Thu, 16 Jul 2009 02:25:31 +0000 http://dreaminthelife.com/?p=116#comment-114 Another good post. It's very important to put a positive spin on things, especially when talking with others. It reminds of the saying: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." :) Another good post. It’s very important to put a positive spin on things, especially when talking with others. It reminds of the saying: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” :)

]]> By: Shannon http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/07/complaining-in-order-to-connect-to-others/comment-page-1/#comment-113 Shannon Thu, 16 Jul 2009 00:37:43 +0000 http://dreaminthelife.com/?p=116#comment-113 I think that is called foxhole bonding if I recall correctly. I think that is called foxhole bonding if I recall correctly.

]]> By: Karen http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/07/complaining-in-order-to-connect-to-others/comment-page-1/#comment-112 Karen Wed, 15 Jul 2009 20:50:40 +0000 http://dreaminthelife.com/?p=116#comment-112 I was pretty impressed at myself for making that word up... "hermity tenancies". It sounds so gnome or troll-like... and amuses the hell outta me :) So true about the weather... that's probably the best example of how people do this! :) Thanks for coming by, Sean. I was pretty impressed at myself for making that word up… “hermity tenancies”. It sounds so gnome or troll-like… and amuses the hell outta me :)

So true about the weather… that’s probably the best example of how people do this!

:) Thanks for coming by, Sean.

]]> By: Sean http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/07/complaining-in-order-to-connect-to-others/comment-page-1/#comment-111 Sean Wed, 15 Jul 2009 20:24:50 +0000 http://dreaminthelife.com/?p=116#comment-111 "hermity" nice word! But its true, I feel like so often I give a negative response because that is what is expected, or thats the easiest way to "connect". Take the weather for instance, people may complain that it is raining, and the fastest way to connect is to agree. Well what if you went the opposite route? What if you gave them all the good reasons for the rain? Would that leave them feeling more positive about their day? Me as a person? It is an interesting thought to ponder, and I think there could be a relevant experiment in there somewhere haha. As always nice, thought provoking post! “hermity” nice word!

But its true, I feel like so often I give a negative response because that is what is expected, or thats the easiest way to “connect”. Take the weather for instance, people may complain that it is raining, and the fastest way to connect is to agree. Well what if you went the opposite route? What if you gave them all the good reasons for the rain? Would that leave them feeling more positive about their day? Me as a person? It is an interesting thought to ponder, and I think there could be a relevant experiment in there somewhere haha.

As always nice, thought provoking post!

]]> By: Karen http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/07/complaining-in-order-to-connect-to-others/comment-page-1/#comment-110 Karen Wed, 15 Jul 2009 19:59:38 +0000 http://dreaminthelife.com/?p=116#comment-110 Very interesting perspective that it isn't a real bond... much better to form the bonds based on positive aspects. It's good to know that someone else that preached positivity has struggled with doing this too! :) Very interesting perspective that it isn’t a real bond… much better to form the bonds based on positive aspects. It’s good to know that someone else that preached positivity has struggled with doing this too!
:)

]]> By: Karen http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/07/complaining-in-order-to-connect-to-others/comment-page-1/#comment-109 Karen Wed, 15 Jul 2009 19:58:15 +0000 http://dreaminthelife.com/?p=116#comment-109 Hey Jesse! I do that too... always think there are people in a worse situation than whatever problem you are facing, and it really puts things into perspective! Changing the subject with someone else who is complaining is a good strategy too... I've used that one countless time! Thanks for commenting :) Hey Jesse!
I do that too… always think there are people in a worse situation than whatever problem you are facing, and it really puts things into perspective! Changing the subject with someone else who is complaining is a good strategy too… I’ve used that one countless time!

Thanks for commenting :)

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