Everything I Need to Know, I’ve Learned From My Goldfish.

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I have four goldfish, and possess an almost abnormal, obsessive love towards them. They make me ridiculously happy in ways that sometimes make me question my bizarre fascination. Ever since I spent $30 three years ago on a plastic, all inclusive, octagonal tank kit and three goldfish, they have continued to make me positively giddy. I love their bright colors, fluid movements, and endless gulb, gulb, gulb, that their little goldfishy mouths make. I know they’re not as cool as expensive salt water fish and their elaborate aquariums, but these bargain fish work for me.

Over the years of enjoying and studying them, I have found that their little fishy existence has taught me many things. I’ve decided to embrace my inner dork today (which is more pronounced certain times than others, when I am better at concealing it), and tell you all about my treasured fish, and the life lessons they have taught me.

1. Don’t let any natural imperfections keep you down.

One of my goldfish is named Nemo, because he has a little fin. He looks just like the cartoon character (minus the clown-fish aspect), and has one regular fin that is one inch long, and another that is about one-third of the size. Sure, he has spent a lot of his swimming in circles, but he has mostly learned to adjust to his disability. I bought two identical fancy goldfish with him, and he is the only survivor, to this day. There are a few times I thought he wasn’t going to make it, but he’s still here, happily swimming in circles and riding the proverbial short bus happily in my tank. We all are born with imperfections. I am thankful not to have any major physical ones like my little friend Nemo. My imperfections lie mostly in my head, and I struggle with them daily. No one is perfect, and we should embrace our imperfections instead of see them as a negative. I think that’s why Nemo is one of my favorites. (Just don’t let the other guys hear me say that.)

2. Just keep swimming.

Keeping with the theme of Nemo, these little guys have taught me that perseverance is key. My largest goldfish was bought as a feeder fish for a turtle that I owned years ago. He was a little dark brown guppy, only half an inch long. In true survival of the fittest mode, he outlasted all the other feeder fish thrown into the turtle tank. My turtle got full after the other ten fish, and my roommate threw him in my tank with my other fish. He turned from a little ugly brown guppy into a 9+ inch alpha male goldfish. I don’t know if goldfish really have alpha males, but if there ever was one he is it. He is the biggest, strongest fish in my tank, and just keeps growing to his incredible current size. I have loved watching his gold color burst through as he gets bigger, and now he looks like a small trout. Which is fitting, as his name is Trout. I told my old roommate that he was a trout (and she believed me because he was a brown guppy). It amused the hell out of me to tell her, and have her believe that he was really a trout. And now, the name stuck. In addition, Trout really resembles a huge trout simply because he just kept swimming. He out swam his initial fate as a feeder fish to become my other favorite in my tank.

Here’s Trout saying “Hi!”.

3. Don’t shit where you sleep.

Well, they actually can’t help this. They are stuck in their tank. And they shit an incredibly large amount. I wish I could turn it off but, I can’t. But, it has reminds me of the next lesson. Metaphorically speaking here (I’m kinda hoping that’s obvious!) you need to make sure you don’t shit where you sleep. We all have stress, and hardships in life. And, you need some way to release the negative, the waste. But, don’t do it where you sleep. Or work. Or live. My little goldfish can’t help this, but we as incredibly evolved humans, have more control than they do. Don’t shit where you work, live, and thrive. Don’t complain too much at work, otherwise you produce an unlivable, toxic environment. Don’t treat your family like crap, just because they are close to you and it’s most comfortable, otherwise you destroy the best support system that is naturally provided to you: family. It’s just that simple. Let out your negativity in productive ways: exercise, listen to loud music, scream in your car. Whatever it takes to give you a healthy release. Just don’t do it in the areas of your life where you live, grow and thrive. Don’t shit where you sleep.

4. Don’t believe everything you hear.

Common assumptions are generally false. Goldfish don’t have three second memories. As this smarty pants 15 year old in Australia disproved, goldfish are just as smart as any other animal in regards to memory. They have to remember in order to avoid predators, and find food efficiently. Most people believe generalizations. People usually believe what the media, government, and authority tells us. You need to challenge beliefs, no matter what the source, and make sure they hold true for you. Most people think that goldfish have three second memories. Despite the fact that this old wives tale is untrue, many people believe it. It’s easy to just believe common ideas. Going with assumptions, generalizations, or even what you are told you “should” believe is the easy way out. Challenge ideas before just automatically believing them.

5. You grow according to the size of your tank.

Finally, the last and best lesson. Goldfish grow depending on the environment in which they are housed. Although this is a highly debated idea in the goldfish world, I believe it to be true because I have seen it. After upgrading my tanks three times, I have witnessed my fish take huge leaps in their growth. Each time their little world expands, they grow. The larger amount of fresh water helps this, as does more area to swim and move.

We humans need to purposefully increase out “tank” size in order to maximize out personal development. Being the big fish in a small pond may inflate your ego, but it does little to help you maximize your potential. Go towards what scares you. Jump into the bigger pond. It’s the only way to grow.

I have to go clean my goldfish tank now. I love those little suckers, but they really do poop a lot.