Make a Move, Even if It’s the Wrong Move.

I have a confession.  I don’t exactly want to admit it.

I’m having a blogging brain fart.

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I’m only a few short months into this whole blogging endeavor, and just learning as I go along. Once I learned the nuts and blots of getting my domain up and running, I made a decision that I wouldn’t over think my posts. I made a conscious decision to not fall into my old, self defeating habits of overanalyzation, and constant striving for perfectionism. I decided to just write and publish posts without over thinking.

In the past, and honestly in my current, I am excellent at procrastination by over thinking. And, I don’t want to do that here. I have this little corner of the virtual universe that’s mine, and I have decided to let it out, imperfections and all.

Perfectionism is something that I have always struggled with.  Along with ending my sentences in prepositions.  All or nothing thinking, over generalizations,  and never thinking it’s good enough worries tend to stick in my head long after they are welcome. But, as I boldly venture into my late twenties, I figure that there’s no time better than now to release that striving for perfection. It’s not only illogical, and impractical. It’s frankly an impossible goal to pursue.

Which leads me here, to my blogging brain fart.

I’m having a blast learning about myself, writing random babblings, and connecting with people with similar interests.  I’m having too much damn fun learning how to tweak WordPress, mastering broadcasting my writings and meeting people on twitter, and the satisfaction of creating a new post. With all this newness and excitement, it seems like I am slowly becoming successful. My subscriber numbers are creeping up, traffic is steady, and positive acknowledgment about my writing is trickling in.

I started this blog with the goal of learning about myself, and life lessons by writing about them. And, I would be lying if I said that I was only doing it for me and not writing for other people.

I want people to read what I write.  Otherwise, I’d be writing this in the notebook next to my bed.  I want to find a good balance between inspiring others while reinforcing  my own random epiphanies about life. I want people to subscribe, and read and enjoy. I want to get insanely successful, not only for monetary gain, but because working and writing in the personal development niche is something that makes me feel more alive than I’ve ever felt.

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But, with more subscribers, and positive encouragement comes more pressure. Not from any external sources, but abstract pressure that I put on myself. I want every post to be incredible. I want every post to resonate with the readers and end up being my most funny, charming, witty, insightful piece of writing that ever has come out of my little pink body. But those are the voices of my little perfectionism devil, perched happily on my shoulder, and causing me brain farts.

So, I decided to just write tonight, and see what comes out. I’m learning to accept my imperfections. Not as quickly as I would like, but faster than I ever have in the past.

Earlier today I was privileged enough to get an advanced copy of a friend of mine’s first blog post. He wanted me to read it and give a little feedback before he launches his blog. I was honored that he thought I had any sort of credible point of view in order to criticize his writing. And despite a disclaimer that I barley know what I’m doing with this silly little blog of mine, I continued to give him my little thoughts of how to change around his first post in order to make it the most awesome that it can be.

I closed the email with my final thought about starting a blog and said something along the lines of, “Whatever you do, don’t over think it. Make sure you just go ahead and get it up and running, even if it’s not perfect.”

And I realized that like most people, I needed to take my own advice. I was over thinking my next post. Waiting for a chunk of hours, or days off from work where I could sit down and write something incredible. I was waiting to find something to inspire me into that orgasmic ah-ha epiphany-like feeling that I just couldn’t resist sharing with the world. But, you know what? That perfect moment hasn’t happened yet. Because perfect moments rarely come, and you certainly can’t just sit back and wait for them. You have to make it happen.

Which brings me to now. I’ve broken my blogging brain fart simply by writing the truth. Whenever I struggle with writing on this blog, I keep coming back to my default: honesty.  Honest writing is interesting.  Honesty about who I am, and where I am in life is all I have to offer. It’s just simply me. And, I like me.  So, I’m going to stop worrying about writing the perfect post, and just keep writing.

Some articles will capture those incredible, inspired moments that I relish in life, and others will be more average. Some might even have annoying grammatical errors that my proofreading doesn’t catch. Most will have sentences that end in prepositions.  Some might be on the boring side. But, that’s okay. It’s all part of me. All I can promise to be here is honest, which is good enough for me.  So, whenever I have another blogging brain fart, I’ll just turn to this post and remind myself….

Make a move. Any move. Even if it’s the wrong move, you’ll learn from the action. Anything is better than being fearfully still.

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