Comments on: Thoughts on Change http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/11/thoughts-on-change/ Want to be Livin' the Dream? First, you need to start Dreamin' the Life! Fri, 27 Aug 2010 16:36:04 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Karen http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/11/thoughts-on-change/comment-page-1/#comment-1081 Karen Sun, 29 Nov 2009 22:04:23 +0000 http://dreaminthelife.com/?p=965#comment-1081 Thank you, Dena. I feel just as grateful to have stumbled upon you and your blog this year :) Thank you, Dena. I feel just as grateful to have stumbled upon you and your blog this year :)

]]> By: Brett - DareToExpress.com http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/11/thoughts-on-change/comment-page-1/#comment-1079 Brett - DareToExpress.com Sun, 29 Nov 2009 21:08:25 +0000 http://dreaminthelife.com/?p=965#comment-1079 Karen, Change is scary only if we resist it. Old Man Eckhart Tolle said something to the effect of, "All suffering is resistance to what is." Very true, considering we only fear change because we resist it so much, which then leads us to fear it, and so on goes the vicious cycle. But if we just allow the change to happen, then the pain is removed. Not to quote another one of my gurus intentionally or anything, but Marcus Aurelius once said, "Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.” (may vary depending on your translation). Same thing as Tolle, except with the removal of a mental label; stop judging pain as negative or even as pain and you remove the injury. Karen,

Change is scary only if we resist it. Old Man Eckhart Tolle said something to the effect of, “All suffering is resistance to what is.” Very true, considering we only fear change because we resist it so much, which then leads us to fear it, and so on goes the vicious cycle. But if we just allow the change to happen, then the pain is removed.

Not to quote another one of my gurus intentionally or anything, but Marcus Aurelius once said, “Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.” (may vary depending on your translation). Same thing as Tolle, except with the removal of a mental label; stop judging pain as negative or even as pain and you remove the injury.

]]> By: Nate http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/11/thoughts-on-change/comment-page-1/#comment-1074 Nate Sun, 29 Nov 2009 14:54:34 +0000 http://dreaminthelife.com/?p=965#comment-1074 Change....yes, it's certainly scary. We get comfortable to certain patterns and ways of living. Change means going into the unknown. It means uncertainty. It means there's a possibility of failure. However, change is the only way we truly learn and those who embrace change will inevitably succeed in life. This is certainly true for you! Congrats. Change….yes, it’s certainly scary. We get comfortable to certain patterns and ways of living. Change means going into the unknown. It means uncertainty. It means there’s a possibility of failure. However, change is the only way we truly learn and those who embrace change will inevitably succeed in life. This is certainly true for you! Congrats.

]]> By: Dawn http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/11/thoughts-on-change/comment-page-1/#comment-1073 Dawn Sun, 29 Nov 2009 13:45:34 +0000 http://dreaminthelife.com/?p=965#comment-1073 change...we always fear it, and yet it is there every single day. I too am going through a major change in my life, and you were so right about the open ended being uncertain. I can go from fear to acceptance and everything in between on any given day. I am an open book kind of girl. I've never had much trouble telling people what's in my "bag"...I think it helps me, and helps them to be more accepting. Good luck on your journey...change is good...if we choose for it to be. change…we always fear it, and yet it is there every single day. I too am going through a major change in my life, and you were so right about the open ended being uncertain. I can go from fear to acceptance and everything in between on any given day.

I am an open book kind of girl. I’ve never had much trouble telling people what’s in my “bag”…I think it helps me, and helps them to be more accepting.

Good luck on your journey…change is good…if we choose for it to be.

]]> By: Jude http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/11/thoughts-on-change/comment-page-1/#comment-1071 Jude Sun, 29 Nov 2009 12:21:07 +0000 http://dreaminthelife.com/?p=965#comment-1071 Hi Karen, You've crossed one of the biggest hurdles of any problem and that is recognizing that you have a problem. As a recovering alcoholic, once I decided to address my problem/baggage I availed myself to any and all avenues of recovery... therapy, outpatient recovery.. AA support groups..there are a lot of theories on recovery I disagree with, BUT you come across a lot of creatively thinking people in the process that can assist you. As the old saw goes.."If you can change the way you think, you can change your life." Be open to new ideas...drinking is like an old friend..you will grieve it's passing, but in time new, healther friends will show up. >:< Hi Karen,
You’ve crossed one of the biggest hurdles of any problem and that is recognizing that you have a problem. As a recovering alcoholic, once I decided to address my problem/baggage I availed myself to any and all avenues of recovery… therapy, outpatient recovery.. AA support groups..there are a lot of theories on recovery I disagree with, BUT you come across a lot of creatively thinking people in the process that can assist you. As the old saw goes..”If you can change the way you think, you can change your life.” Be open to new ideas…drinking is like an old friend..you will grieve it’s passing, but in time new, healther friends will show up. >:<

]]> By: Kristin http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/11/thoughts-on-change/comment-page-1/#comment-1070 Kristin Sun, 29 Nov 2009 09:22:21 +0000 http://dreaminthelife.com/?p=965#comment-1070 You seem to be doing a great job of this by thinking of addiction as baggage, but knowing that this transition is a rough and rocky as it is, I just wanted to remind you: This is not who you are, it is only a part. It will likely always be a part, but that is all it has ever been and it is all it will ever be. Remembering all the other parts, both those that have been discovered and those that will be soon, helps make this baggage not seem so big or so heavy. I can only speak from my experience, but listing out all the labels I can put on myself (daughter, sister, actor, designer, friend, woman, etc.), however mundane and dull they may be, helps me be reminded that addict is only one of many and that none will ever be me without the others. In other news: clear plastic bags is a great analogy. Being open and honest with others is the only way to put people in your corner. How can they choose to be there if they don't know what they're in for. Despite how big and scary the baggage looks right now, look how many people stepped into your corner just because you let them know about it. You seem to be doing a great job of this by thinking of addiction as baggage, but knowing that this transition is a rough and rocky as it is, I just wanted to remind you: This is not who you are, it is only a part. It will likely always be a part, but that is all it has ever been and it is all it will ever be. Remembering all the other parts, both those that have been discovered and those that will be soon, helps make this baggage not seem so big or so heavy.

I can only speak from my experience, but listing out all the labels I can put on myself (daughter, sister, actor, designer, friend, woman, etc.), however mundane and dull they may be, helps me be reminded that addict is only one of many and that none will ever be me without the others.

In other news: clear plastic bags is a great analogy. Being open and honest with others is the only way to put people in your corner. How can they choose to be there if they don’t know what they’re in for. Despite how big and scary the baggage looks right now, look how many people stepped into your corner just because you let them know about it.

]]> By: Miche - Serenity Hacker http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/11/thoughts-on-change/comment-page-1/#comment-1069 Miche - Serenity Hacker Sun, 29 Nov 2009 07:56:29 +0000 http://dreaminthelife.com/?p=965#comment-1069 Hi Karen, this post was very touching. It's brave to have your baggage in clear trash bags, but freeing, too. I really loved the analogy as well. What you've said about transition phases was really insightful and I think a lot of people can relate. That "empty hole" that needs filling... that you don't know how to fill yet... Anyone who has made a real life change could understand that. But oh, how we run from that feeling, or "stuff' ourselves with bad habits or behaviors just to avoid it! Bravo to you... count me in your fan club, too. ;) I have a reprint of an inspirational piece on transformation and change from Warriors of the Heart on my blog if you'd like to check it out: http://serenityhacker.com/2009/09/the-parable-of-the-trapeze-honoring-change/ It addresses honoring that in-between place you talk about. It has helped me many times in the past. Cheers, Miche :) Hi Karen, this post was very touching. It’s brave to have your baggage in clear trash bags, but freeing, too. I really loved the analogy as well.

What you’ve said about transition phases was really insightful and I think a lot of people can relate. That “empty hole” that needs filling… that you don’t know how to fill yet… Anyone who has made a real life change could understand that. But oh, how we run from that feeling, or “stuff’ ourselves with bad habits or behaviors just to avoid it! Bravo to you… count me in your fan club, too. ;)

I have a reprint of an inspirational piece on transformation and change from Warriors of the Heart on my blog if you’d like to check it out:

http://serenityhacker.com/2009/09/the-parable-of-the-trapeze-honoring-change/

It addresses honoring that in-between place you talk about. It has helped me many times in the past.

Cheers,
Miche :)

]]> By: Dena http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/11/thoughts-on-change/comment-page-1/#comment-1068 Dena Sun, 29 Nov 2009 05:38:44 +0000 http://dreaminthelife.com/?p=965#comment-1068 Karen, I love the clear trash bag analogy! This is a really beautiful, honest post. I can not tell you enough how proud of you I am. It is not an easy journey but you have embarked out upon it nonetheless. You are an amazing inspiration. I am so incredibly grateful to have you in my life. Thinking of you. Love, Dena Karen,

I love the clear trash bag analogy! This is a really beautiful, honest post. I can not tell you enough how proud of you I am. It is not an easy journey but you have embarked out upon it nonetheless. You are an amazing inspiration. I am so incredibly grateful to have you in my life.

Thinking of you.

Love,
Dena

]]> By: Karen http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/11/thoughts-on-change/comment-page-1/#comment-1066 Karen Sat, 28 Nov 2009 23:46:15 +0000 http://dreaminthelife.com/?p=965#comment-1066 Haha... so are you and Jay now my official fan club? ;) You are exactly right... any addictive, or avoidant behavior is there simply to cover up negative emotions. So, the trick is to learn how to deal with them in a healthy way. Not sure if I have all the answers yet on how to do that... but at least I know the goal. Thanks for your unsolicited advice... wise, as always :) Haha… so are you and Jay now my official fan club? ;)

You are exactly right… any addictive, or avoidant behavior is there simply to cover up negative emotions. So, the trick is to learn how to deal with them in a healthy way. Not sure if I have all the answers yet on how to do that… but at least I know the goal. Thanks for your unsolicited advice… wise, as always :)

]]> By: Karen http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/11/thoughts-on-change/comment-page-1/#comment-1065 Karen Sat, 28 Nov 2009 23:43:22 +0000 http://dreaminthelife.com/?p=965#comment-1065 Thanks Jay! You're so constantly sweet and supportive... :) Thanks Jay! You’re so constantly sweet and supportive… :)

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