I think life presents us with the lessons that we need to learn at just that moment.
If we aren’t capable of absorbing the lessons, it comes back until you can learn it.
After a trying, busy time at work this week, I’ve realized the person that I want to be. Some of the things I’ve been aware of, but haven’t realized the depth of it’s value until now. Some of these things I’ve been working on for years, and some of the things I’ve always known in the back of my head that we should all do them.
I’m feeling very zen and enlightened for some reason, so bear with me.
I want to be consistent and reliable. I want to have integrity in my actions, so that when I say something the people around me believe my actions will be consistent with my intentions.
I don’t want to make excuses. I want to take responsibility for as much as possible, and suck it up even if I know it’s not necessarily my fault. I don’t want to blame others. It’s their duty to take responsibility for themselves, and I have no control over that.
I want to be kind to each person I encounter. I think kindness is so underrated. If all that I am know for in life is being kind to everyone, then I think that’s enough.
I don’t want to complain. Except for short venting sessions that must be necessary for my sanity, I will keep these few and far between.
I want to be selfless. I want to remember that I’m not the only one, and it’s not all about me. I want to help other people without expecting anything in return.
I don’t want to be judgmental. You never know all the pain and struggles that each person in your life is going through. Even if they are sitting next to you.
I want to be assertive, and respectfully speak my mind. I don’t want to be passive aggressive, because it’s cowardly way to exist. I want to be confident in my abilities, and even in my mistakes.
I want to live the four agreements every day:
- Be impeccable with my words
- Don’t take anything personally
- Don’t make assumptions
- Always do my best
I want to be humble. I don’t want to view anyone as better than me, or below me. We are all trying to the best we know how to do at the time.
I want to be patient. I want to take a deep breath, and be able to pause in any circumstance. It’s rare that anything matters as much as we think it does at the time. Unless you are an ER doctor making life or death decisions, everything can wait.
I want to be grateful. I want to be constantly aware of how lucky I am. I want to always know that there are so many people less fortunate than I, and even on my worst day I am usually better off than most people.
I may strive for the rest of my life to do all of these things. I may not know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I may always want to lose weight, do better, make less mistakes, and have more money. But if I can just keep constantly striving to be the person that I describe above, it will all be okay.
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
For those things that you’ve always wanted to do, start by creating a real, tangible, measurable goal.
If I could only put a check mark next to all of those things you just wrote that I agree with…
I was going to say something similar to Jon. How does this translate tangibly? I spent a whole year working just on the “be impeccable with your word” one. It’s hard.
Knowing who you are is prerequisite to becoming who you want to be. Do you know who you are?
You are so close to AA’s principles and purpose.
How do you measure it? You measure it by looking in the mirror. Can you stand what you see. It is measured about how you feel about yourself when you leave situations or interactions.
When you are doing the things you speak of, people will let you know. It is a never ending journey that you have to constantly practice. I once thought I was all those things only to find out I was so far from them, I had no idea what those things were or how to achieve them.
Acceptance……..
Good luck in your endeavors.
It was inspiring to read about your dreams.
It appears you are an idealistic sort of person stuck in a cynical world.
Please try to be kind to yourself even if you fall short of your goals.
Take it moment to moment, step by step, one day at a time. Easy does it.
Life is a process of learning and growth, so we are all a work in progress.
I am lucky to have come across your blog. Your words of wisdom are like a beacon of hope and a ray of sunshine that lights up the deep, dark night.
I think you have worthy goals, so keep on pursuing such lofty ideals.
If you stick with the plan, you are sure to succeed. Best wishes to you.
Niceeee! It’s really good that you defined the way you want to be in such detail. Few people can do that. And usually they have conflicting ideas about who they want to be. Now all you have to do is live in alignment with it.
And every single moment is an opportunity to do just that.
I have come to realize that I need to listen to my gut more. It has never failied me, when I have listened. I have cut toxic people out of my life, I have stepped out in Faith, I have stopped myself when it didn’t feel right to move forward…and I feel lighter and more open to all the possibilities of more joy and more happiness…
You can do it…I look forward to following you on your journey.
Love the 4 agreements and I love this post! Awesome writing here, Karen.
This is absotively, posilutely FABU.
Right on Karen. We’re all rooting for you!
One of the best posts you’ve written.
I have an observation. You say you don’t want to be judgmental… yet you’re judging yourself in your post.
Don’t do it. You’re fine… you really are!
Ro
Great post!
Moving blog from my ‘monitoring for now’ folder to ‘normal Reading’ folder.
-mike.
Gotta love when clarity of mind just strikes you. These are great attributes to strive for. Remember to step back while striving. I say that because it’s my biggest problem, to always keep going and never be content. I recreate too often and not bask in what is happening. Thanks for bringing me back to that. I wouldn’t have slowed down enough to even think about it if it wasn’t for your post here. Cheers~
Karen, I’ve been on a similar journey and everything you wrote above resonated with me. Every day is a new opportunity to do these things and to become the person you want to be. Know that I’m rooting for you! Kudos for seeing the need for change and having the courage to embrace it! Don’t forget to be patient and kind to yourself – happy self-talk.