How do you know what parts of yourself to embrace, and what you should strive to change?
This subject brings me back to a consistent struggle I have with myself. I suck at consistency.
I am consistently inconsistent.
For the past few years, I am in a regular struggle with myself to be more consistent. My personality thrives on extremes. I naturally get really excited about something, and immerse myself in whatever project I am working on. I dive into things that I am passionate about, and then the excitement fades and I get bored and move on to the next project. A lot of the time I go back to projects that I deem necessary for my progress and life (mostly health and money related), but I am unable to develop consistency.
I wonder what part of it is just my natural personality, my Gemini nature, and if I should just embrace it as who I am. Yet, I see consistency as the epitome of maturity. Mature adults are consistent in their actions. And I lack that.
I wish to blog regularly. But for the past two weeks, I just haven’t felt like blogging. Should I force myself to change this, or should I just go with what works for me? Right now I write when I feel inspired and want to blog. I wish I could write twice a week, but it I start to resent it when blogging begins to feel like homework, and it’s forced.
Yet, for this past year, I have blogged pretty damn consistently. I have written at least once a week, except for a few couple week periods. Consistency seems to come easily in things I love.
I consistently drink coffee. I consistently use my computer, and check certain websites. I consistently use Twitter. I consistently hang out with my brother.
With things I love, consistency comes easily.
I want to consistently eat healthy. I want to consistently exercise. I want to consistently track my spending, and budget my money. I want to consistently clean, do laundry, and organize my surroundings.
I do love those things, but not all the time. The past two weeks, I’ve been trying to eat healthier, exercise, and track my spending. Perhaps I need to be easier on myself, and realize that there’s been a lot of progress. This is partially a battle with perfectionism, and viewing the world in black and white. Perhaps it’s a struggle with being more mindful, and just focusing on what you are doing right. now.
I think consistency is the key to success. I think people that do the right things consistently are successful.
People that consistently eat healthy and exercise are healthy and lose weight.
People that consistently track their spending and budget are financially responsible.
I think that life’s ups and downs are natural. Things ebb and flow. Maybe my battle is not so much in being consistent, but embracing what IS. I truly believe that unhappiness lies in living in the “shoulds”, yet that hasn’t stopped me from constantly struggling to how I think I “should” be.
Maybe life just isn’t consistent, and I need to accept that.
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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Karen
I read your post, and as I did, thought “this person is me”.
Having said that, while your struggles are my struggles, I’ve found that as I get older, the thing that people call wisdom will find you through learning and allow these questions to be answered through the act of just living life.
I believe that there are very few who age who don’t find some level of wisdom.
I DON’T believe we necessarily have all the answers in the end, but we learn; and I think that’s the key to it. Willingness to learn from life leads to a certain level of wisdom.
I started to learn when I got to about 45. Prior to that, I pretty much had absolutely NO idea about much at all. I was grossly inconsistent and didn’t know it.
To quote an Australian term, I was a “dick-head”.
I’m pretty certain, much less so now. I’m 10 years on and very happy in life and myself despite procrastination, inconsistency and too many other human foibles to count.
It doesn’t really matter, except to be aware, try not to be perfect, because done is OK, not always done perfectly and be kind on yourself.
It’s all working quite well for me so far but another side to this is being prepared for SOME hard work if you really want to achieve something.
I can do it if I make firm plans, apply the resolve to take action on those plans and practice until a habit forms (consistency). I achieved this with meditation.
I’m still inconsistent at times, but having realized the benefits, if I lapse a bit, I always come back to it and know how to do it again through previous practice.
Judging by your picture, I’d say that I’ve probably got about 30 years on you, so you’ll find this out for yourself. I know this because you, by your own admission are a seeker.
I think inconsistency is OK with the wisdom to know that you are inconsistent and will just live your life with it, without being stressed about it.
Good luck Karen. I think you’re already on the right path
Regards
Alan
Yes, no need to be perfect. Habits form over time, but there will always be bumps in the road. The bumps will come, the real question is how fast do you get back on track. Sounds like you’re on the right path.
Hi Karen,
Consitency isn’t my thing either. Although I need to be. But I can give you one advise: if you want to change things like eat healtier, move more and your finance, don’t try to change them all at once. Trying to change all 3 at once is a way to big change. Instead pick one, and focus doing it for 8 weeks consistenly. E.g. exercise: I started walking every day at around 7pm. In the beginning it’s hard, but after a while it’s a habit. Then start the next thing and again do that for 8weeks.
Pick 1 of your ‘changes’ and work 8weeks on it, find a good time (eg every day at 7pm or every mon, wen and vriday) and stick to it. Make it a habit.
(check http://www.6changes.com for detailed info)
Greetings from the Netherlands,
Rik
This is so true! Consistency comes with things I truly enjoy. It’s the things I desire to change that I am inconsistent in. This is great insight into the things I desire to work on. Consistency doesn’t come easy… it’s going to take hard work and effort.
Hi Karen,
Being consistent really takes time, but if we make it a goal, then we can achieve it
Consistency and I don’t mix. I’ve never been very consistent about anything long term. I’ll go through periods where I’m consistent with one or two things, but those things always switch. Consistency is hard, so if it’s what you are after – good luck!
I love having goals and I love striving to keep them. My challenge is to remember that life is what happens while you’re busy making goals. I have a goal to run a 5K http://runningaground.wordpress.com/
And I am just enjoying the journey, enjoying the run. I agree there’s ebb and flow. And along the way, comes self acceptance!
hey Karen
that’s absolutely right , one of the keys to productivity (which leads to success) is consistency
Hi Karen,
I could have written this! As I near 50, I’ve really just learned to embrace my inconsistency… Sure, I could be “more successful” if I were more consistent, but I’ve come to the point where I see the successful, consistent family and friends around me, and to a person they are miserable, or they make the people around them miserable. Following your loves and passions is a lifestyle that epitomizes success, so embrace your lifestyle and run with it.
For consistency in health (mental, physical, etc), I have found that I need to join organizations that will give me structure (Weight Watchers for example) because I don’t have the discipline to structure my eating without external administration.
My two cents – It sounds like you have a great life already… don’t sacrifice it in order to live someone else’s version of success.
“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
Karen,
So wonderfully put, I will say for me, you hit it right on the nail. I have learned that inconstancy is good for me. There was a time when I was so consistent in everything I did, and now each day is an adventure waiting to happen. Love yourself, and be non-judgmental of the things that bother you, your inconstancies make you PERFECT!!!!
Blessings Renee
I love stumble upon for many reasons.. IT LEAD ME TO YOUR BLOG!
I also have a blog and struggle with the blogging, i never want it to feel forced although sometimes i am just not in the mood to blog, even when my site is due for a post. My best writing just comes naturally, and for me often late at night.
I enjoy the way you write, and i am able to relate to this post as I am an “extremist” I am often inconsistently consistent!!
KEEP POSTING.. (well when ever you feel like it =))
herpaige.com is my blog take a peak, my posts pop up when im in the mood to blog!